A Reddit user shared a note about her cousin’s wedding plans, where several other users suggested she should skip the wedding. An etiquette expert informed Fox News Digital that the couple’s arrangements broke traditional etiquette rules.
User “joyousfoodie” revealed that the couple intended to send cards to those not invited before the wedding, which raised eyebrows among the Reddit community.
The woman mentioned that her cousin is preparing for a “small garden wedding” shortly.
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“It’s a semi-destination wedding,” she noted, explaining that it’s around five hours away. “They wanted an intimate celebration with just close family and friends due to budget constraints.”
While joyousfoodie accepted the wedding’s location and size, she had concerns about several of the couple’s unusual plans.

A Reddit user indicated her cousin (not illustrated) is planning a small garden wedding approximately five hours from her home. (iStock)
“I just learned that the wedding couple is sending ‘cards’ to people who aren’t invited to announce their wedding, stating ‘you’re in our hearts on this special day’ prior to the event,” she wrote.
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“Their rationale is for ‘curiosity and to keep you in their thoughts,'” joyousfoodie expressed, questioning why they would send this notification before the wedding.
Moreover, she recently learned that she and other guests are expected to assist with setup on the wedding day.
“I received a text from the couple stating that ‘everyone has a role to help set up.’
“I received a text from the couple stating ‘everyone has a role to help set up. After the ceremony, the wedding party will leave for photos while guests set up the reception tables.’ I was shocked!” joyousfoodie wrote.
She mentioned that the couple did not ask their guests if they would like to assist but instead “dictated tasks to people.”

The couple intends to send cards to those uninvited before the wedding, claiming they’re “in our hearts on this special day,” which a Reddit user found quite unusual. (iStock)
When joyousfoodie sought clarification from the couple regarding guests covering gas and hotel expenses for setup, “They even claimed that people were okay with it.”
In her post, she asked, “Where’s the respect, etiquette, and morals? They stated that financially they couldn’t hire help, yet they had nearly two years to save.”
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Rather than save for their wedding, joyousfoodie pointed out that the couple chose to travel instead.
On the wedding day, she noted, the couple’s parents would be “running errands for them,” like picking up the cake and flowers.

A woman (not shown) shared her annoyance regarding her cousin’s wedding plans. (iStock)
Additionally, the bride wishes to invite friends to her bridal shower, even though some of those friends are not invited to the wedding.
The woman concluded her post with, “Wish me luck on this upcoming wedding!”
Fox News Digital reached out to joyousfoodie for further comments or updates.
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An etiquette expert informed Fox News Digital that the couple’s plans significantly deviate from traditional wedding norms.
“While the motive behind sending these notifications may have been sincere, it might come across as a slight or an underhanded compliment,” explained Rosalinda Randall, a California-based etiquette specialist, during an interview with Fox News Digital.

Rosalinda Randall, an etiquette expert from California, informed Fox News Digital that a note delivered before a wedding is unlikely to be well-received. (Courtesy Rosalinda Randall)
It is generally more respectful to share wedding news after the ceremony is completed, she noted.
Rather than sending an early card, the couple could make a social media announcement or send a “post-wedding postcard.”
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“They might consider adding a note that explains, ‘It was a small affair. We wish we could have celebrated with all of you. Thank you for your kindness,'” she suggested.
In recent years, “asking for contributions towards your wedding costs, equipment, or travel seems to be increasingly common and socially acceptable,” Randall added.

“Asking guests to contribute to your wedding, equipment, or trips appears to be increasingly normalized.” (iStock)
She continued, “People tend to be generous and are willing to assist. However, if you’re spotted shopping at upscale stores, dining at elite restaurants, or detailing your luxury car, I suggest utilizing the ‘unsend’ function quickly.”
Many Reddit users were astonished by joyousfoodie’s revelations, labeling the post as “tacky.”
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Numerous users expressed they simply wouldn’t attend the wedding.
“This wedding sounds like a disaster I might opt out of,” mentioned a Reddit user named “trashbinfluencer.”
Trashbinfluencer asserted that it is inappropriate to expect guests to assist with setup.

Numerous Reddit users encouraged the woman to skip her cousin’s wedding. (Tiffany Hagler-Geard/Bloomberg via Getty Images)
“Regarding the non-invitation wedding announcements (fundraising?), I’m utterly speechless,” remarked trashbinfluencer.
User “andronicuspark” felt the wedding was “a poorly disguised attempt to obtain gifts.”
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“Sorry you can’t attend, but you’re in our thoughts! (Crossing fingers),” user “andronicuspark” advised joyousfoodie to skip the wedding.
“That’s when you say you’re not well and choose not to go. They are terrible hosts, and frankly, it’s appalling,” user “byteme747” added.
“I would be sending my regrets — sorry, not sorry. They are out of touch. Simple as that.”
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Another Reddit user was more forthright, stating, “The sole reason I’d attend this would be out of morbid curiosity,” wrote “Obrina98.”
The user finished, “Tacky, tacky, tacky!”