NEW You can now listen to articles from Fox News!
This Election Day will hold special significance for me: it marks the 10th anniversary of my mother’s passing, I will be six months along in my first pregnancy, and our divisive political climate will likely overshadow the importance of life and death as folks discuss who might win the White House.
I learned of my pregnancy on the same day Donald Trump was convicted on 34 felony charges. I heard the heartbeat for the first time during President Biden’s not-so-great debate performance. I began writing this piece coincidentally the same day as Trump’s assassination attempt.
What a unique world I’ll be introducing my child to. What a decade my mom has not been part of.
‘FRIDAYS WITH KAT’: KAT TIMPF APPEARS ON ‘THE GUY BENSON SHOW’ TO DISCUSS KAMALA, THE OLYMPICS AND A DISGRACEFUL CONCERT EXPERIENCE
Before welcoming my first baby, I found it essential to write a book (“I Used to Like You Until,” available for pre-order now!), sharing insights on how not to view the world and its inhabitants — avoiding a binary perspective.
It’s a lesson my mother taught me — or better put, showed me. A woman whose life was a testament to being Impossible-to-Categorize, so much so that I overheard nurses at the hospital after she passed calling her “that lady with all the pope pictures and the dirty jokes.”
Kat Timpf with her mother Anne Marie Ochab Timpf. (Family photo)
I never thought I’d find myself here. In fact, I had mentally geared up for every possible outcome except this. Initially, I didn’t think I would get pregnant, particularly not in a natural way. Once it happened, I braced for a possible miscarriage. I’m now 35, which medically categorizes my pregnancy as geriatric. If you hear some of the comments from men online, you’d think a 35-year-old woman is lucky to have had anyone want to engage with her at all!
Finding out I was expecting was nothing like I envisioned. I imagined sharing the moment with my husband in a profoundly emotional scene. In my fantasy, he would spring awake, gaze at the test, and we’d embrace, forever cherishing that life-altering moment together.
The truth? It was a struggle to wake him up, and when I finally did, he squinted at the test, mumbled that he couldn’t make out the line, and rolled back over into slumber.
For me, it was less an exhilarating revelation and more a gradual understanding: the line became more pronounced. A blood test confirmed it. Then days passed, followed by weeks. We heard the heartbeat once, then again. It lacked that thrilling emotional rush of OMG, WE’RE GOING TO BE PARENTS!!!! I was far too aware of the potential pitfalls to bask in that kind of ecstasy.
Kat Timpf and her spouse Cam Friscia.
There was also another reason my response lacked that overwhelming astonishment: I was simply too exhausted.
Prior to pregnancy, I had heard that the first trimester could be “draining,” and I thought I could envision that feeling. After all, I’ve often pushed my physical limits, frequently working without a day off for weeks, and enduring periods where my touring and television commitments left me with merely three hours of sleep over consecutive nights. Conversely, I’ve been the one coming home long after sunrise following nights out. I’ve embodied both personas: the one heading to work and the one returning home at the hours when those two crowds intersect.
These contrasting scenarios might seem at odds, yet they share a commonality: the exhaustion was a physical reflection of attributes I admired about myself. The Hardest Working Woman I Knew, The Most Fun Girl at the Party — both constants I wore as badges of honor.
However, pregnancy fatigue surpasses that experience. I have dealt with insomnia my entire life, battling anxiety about the future while trying to fall asleep. Nowadays, I am perpetually craving a nap, even though I have more to worry about than ever. I’m about to become a mother, yet I don’t even know how to hold a baby!
Before pregnancy, my exhaustion was proof of my industriousness and inclination for fun. Now, as an expectant mother, I fear I may never reclaim those qualities. Each necessary break from work feels like a sign of weakness. Every time I have to decline an outing due to fatigue feels like I’m becoming uninteresting. I’m terrified of losing the very attributes I have cherished for so long… and this realization is compounded by the awareness that life won’t get any simpler once there’s a little human depending on me for their survival.
It can be incredibly challenging, and I’m often too hard on myself. I’m not made for this. I’m no longer any good. I’m lazy. Believe me, early pregnancy will have you waking up after what you thought was a full night’s sleep feeling like you’ve just endured hours of partying, not just in terms of tiredness, but also regarding emotional stability… which is nonexistent.
Moments of utter fatigue and hopelessness led to me breaking down in tears, exclaiming: I can’t do this.
So what made me decide to have a child, despite the embarrassment tied to pregnancy? First and foremost, my husband is truly amazing. Even though I never wanted children before meeting him, he made the idea feel like a genuine and positive possibility. Part of me sensed that something was missing in my life. Part of it was simple curiosity. I also felt like I had checked off everything else in my life. And as silly as it may sound, I thought it could be entertaining. Not that the baby itself is hilarious — but I know it will bring laughter along the way, and laughter is my absolute favorite thing about living.
Author, comedian, and Fox News contributor Kat Timpf. Her latest book, “I Used to Like You Until… How Binary Thinking Divides Us” is set for release on September 10.
All the reasons to have a child seem somewhat selfish, don’t they? Oh, I felt a bit empty and lost, so I decided to create another human being who will deal with these same struggles! Yet you’re also labeled selfish if you choose not to have kids. The only exemption appears to be for men.
Regardless, I’m sure many women who have been pregnant are reading this thinking, “Been there, done that; you’re not unique.” However, my intention in sharing this isn’t to portray myself as a unique victim. It’s quite the opposite!
I sense a connection and solidarity with all the women who’ve traveled this path. Yet I can’t help but feel a void regarding one woman I’ll never be able to bond with over this: my mom.
Don’t misunderstand me; I’m genuinely thrilled to be pregnant. I consider myself fortunate to embark on this journey, particularly within a relationship that has granted me a level of happiness, security, and tranquility I once thought I could never experience.
I sense a connection and solidarity with all the women who’ve traveled this path. Yet I can’t help but feel a void regarding one woman I’ll never be able to bond with over this: my mom.
Nevertheless, it sometimes feels cruel, disorienting, and a bit unjust to navigate motherhood when I can scarcely recall my own mother’s embrace. I remember her, of course, but since November 5, 2014, I’ve been on this journey without her. I’ve secured my position at Fox News, navigated an abusive relationship, embraced my career as a bestselling author, and tied the knot — all without my mom.
Ten years later, I’m an entirely different person — a fact for which many who endured my 20-something self would likely be grateful. Yet recognizing this transformation implies that I no longer recognize the last instance when I was a daughter.
Kat and Cam’s dog Carl and cat Cheens are ready to welcome a new baby to the family.
Ten years is a substantial stretch of time. The reality of that length will weigh heavily on my mind come November 5… all while The Discourse persists in believing the only aspect worth considering is the election.
However, my thoughts being occupied by more than just politics doesn’t render me a unique victim. Countless others will have matters weighing on their minds outside the realm of politics.
I want to acknowledge that, politically speaking, I find it somewhat easier to navigate Election Day, as I identify with the millions of independents in America. I do not align with either party, yet I maintain important relationships with both.
CLICK HERE FOR MORE FOX NEWS OPINION
One of the central themes in my new book revolves around the ways politics cause us to argue with those we care about over people who remain unaware of our existence. In its introduction, I write: “Often, we permit a single difference in opinion or association to dismiss another person entirely, even when we know nothing else about them.” Even more concerning? Politicians weaponize this division for their gain, jeopardizing our interpersonal relationships.
Kat Timpf’s latest book set to release on September 10.
I’ve encountered this firsthand numerous times. Perhaps you’ve even done it while reading this! My admission of not siding with either party may have infuriated you, as you think I must be foolish not to align with yours. Others may see this piece on FoxNews.com and dismiss it without a second thought.
I’m not suggesting that politics lack significance. They most certainly do! However, we shouldn’t fabricate unnecessary implications based on mistaken assumptions.
What transcends politics — what my new book aims to discuss — is also what I hope to impart to my upcoming project: parenting. I want my child to understand, for example, that a woman who proudly displays pictures of the pope can also appreciate solid humor.
Kat Timpf’s ‘I Used to Like You” tour dates (Courtesy Kat Timpf)
CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOX NEWS APP
If you’re inclined to criticize me for using my pregnancy to promote my book, bear in mind that you’re reading this for free, and I wrote this at no cost. Babies are expensive, especially in New York City… and if the book doesn’t perform well, it would only reaffirm my longstanding fear: that one cannot be both a mother and a successful professional.
And if you feel compelled to judge me for mentioning my mother’s death? Think twice — you likely don’t know her, and even if you did, you might not understand her last words to me on her deathbed, which resonate in my mind a decade later:
“Katherine, milk this for all it’s worth.”
Pre-order Kat’s new book and secure tickets to her live performances here.
CLICK HERE FOR MORE FROM KAT TIMPF
