‘I want to tell it just as I see it’: Laura Kenny on Olympic glory, personal pain and talking straight | Laura Kenny

“I’m going to express my thoughts candidly, just as I always do,” Laura Kenny emphasizes as she gears up to transition into “the dark side” of media commentary, being the most accomplished female athlete in British Olympic history. “People are curious about my opinions and what I consider should have been done. I believe that honesty is paramount.”

Between the London 2012 and Tokyo 2021 Olympics, Kenny amassed six Olympic medals, five of which are gold, as an audacious and tenacious track cyclist. Next week, she will head to the Paris Olympics to work as a pundit for the BBC and will also pen a column for the Guardian.

The 32-year-old athlete dismisses any concerns about softening her forthright nature, opting instead to speak freely without fear of offending anyone, including those on the British Olympic team whom she holds dear. Her husband, Jason, a sprint cyclist, secured nine Olympic medals, seven of which are gold, and currently coaches the GB men’s sprint team. He serves as a mentor to riders like Emma Finucane, a promising 21-year-old sprint cyclist from Wales, who the Kennys believe will be a strong competitor in three events at Paris.

It’s astonishing to think that, if they were a nation, Laura and Jason Kenny would rank 22nd on the list of Olympic gold medal-winning countries. However, Kenny prefers to speak plainly rather than rely on statistics or the mundane clichés often adopted by former athletes who shy away from the unfiltered truth. “Being able to voice my thoughts has been my greatest asset throughout my career,” she explains. “Whether I’m talking to a coach, a teammate, or the media, I’ve always been straightforward about how I feel.”

Sitting in the living room of her Macclesfield home on a rainy summer evening, Kenny is an engaging conversationalist. She reveals that one of the most challenging periods of her life was compounded by her decision to withdraw into silence, going against her natural instincts after experiencing the double blow of a miscarriage in November 2021, followed by an ectopic pregnancy in January 2022. “I became a version of myself that I didn’t recognize,” Kenny recalls. “I’ve always been open and honest, but there were times when I couldn’t express what I needed to.”

Kenny’s gaze shifts as she returns to those tough memories. “Perhaps it felt like a failure. My body wasn’t fulfilling its role when I desperately wanted it to — to give us another child alongside Albie [her first son]. I had never before experienced my body failing me like this. Surely there had been hurdles on my journey to gold medals, but nothing of this magnitude. I returned from a broken shoulder, a broken arm, winning more medals. Yet the one thing I truly desired from my body, it wouldn’t give.”

She shakes her head. “People are reluctant to discuss miscarriage openly. We tend to conceal it, perceiving it as a failure, but that shouldn’t be the case.”

For many months after, Kenny only confided in Jason about her feelings. She would lay awake at night, grappling with insomnia and “stuck on Google,” until she finally opened up to her mother. To her surprise, her mom revealed she too had experienced a miscarriage. This conversation was cathartic, and Kenny publicly shared her pain in an Instagram post in April 2022, stating: “I miscarried our baby at 9 weeks. I’ve never felt so lost and sad. It was as if a part of me was irrevocably taken away.”

Two years ago, Kenny competed at the Commonwealth Games, held at the same Olympic velodrome where she won two golds in 2012. “Oh, it was dreadful,” she shares. “I wasn’t eager to be there. I didn’t want another gold medal.”

The evening before her final event, the scratch race, she felt despondent. “I told my mom: ‘I really don’t want to do this. I don’t want to step on that velodrome tomorrow.’ She encouraged me: ‘You don’t have to.’ After much discussion, she suggested, ‘Why don’t you race as if it’s your last?’ That sparked something in me. But at the start line, I found myself at the back because I had missed an entire year and had no points. Panic set in; I thought, ‘This is terrible.’ Then a voice from the crowd said, ‘You’ve got this, Laura.’”

Kenny chuckles. “In that moment, I thought: ‘Yes, I absolutely do.’ I had done this countless times before. Crossing the finish line to win again felt wonderful.”

She pauses. “However, underlining that achievement wasn’t the feeling I ultimately sought. During the post-race BBC interview, some were taken aback that I voiced my grief. But I’m not here to say, ‘I’m thrilled with everything. I’ve won another gold medal.’ The prior 18 months before the Commonwealths were excruciating.”

Kenny only began to cope with her profound grief after welcoming her second son, Monty, born on July 20, 2023. She now radiates happiness but contrasts it starkly with the anxiety she felt while pregnant with him: “Honestly, we invested so much in private scans just to alleviate my anxieties. Jason kept reassuring me it was fine because it was for my peace of mind. For ages, I was consumed with thoughts like, ‘Is he moving? Is he still there?’ It felt as if he could slip away at any moment.”

She also reflects on Jason’s unspoken struggles during this time. They participated in a joint interview with Susie Wolff, and when the topic came up, Jason found himself in tears as he shared how “terrible” it all had been. “I’d never heard him use that language in an interview,” Kenny recounts. “It was eye-opening for me, realizing that no one had asked him how he was truly feeling.”

Expressing oneself is paramount for Kenny, who adds: “Honesty in expression is vital in both sport and life. Admitting to being wrong is okay as long as you can own your mistake or simply agree to disagree. That’s my character. It’s who I am.”

Kenny recounts how, at the age of 19, she spoke candidly about the overwhelming tension within the GB team pursuit squad in 2011. With six athletes vying for three spots at London 2012, she couldn’t tolerate the negative atmosphere where teammates would criticize one another instead of unifying as a team.

“There were training sessions filled with shouting and harsh exchanges,” Kenny recalls. “I wasn’t okay with that. So I approached our coach, Paul Manning, and the sports psychiatrist, Steve Peters. This prompted a team meeting, which was difficult, facing other team members and being honest about my feelings. Yet, discussing our grievances greatly improved our dynamic. The team ended up in a much better place afterward and clinched gold in London.”

This steadfast commitment to forthrightness has been a cornerstone of Kenny’s illustrious career. Yet, does she harbor any regrets about transitioning to a role where she will comment on others striving for Olympic glory instead of competing for her own medals? “Absolutely not,” she asserts. “Not once have I wished, ‘I wish I could still be out there on my bike.’ When you desire something intensely and achieve it, a sense of peace follows.”

“Once Monty was born, I was relieved he was finally here. I began training again but felt jealous of the grandparents who were spending time with him. I thought, ‘Why am I putting myself through this? Why not just savor the time with him?’ Jason and I deliberated on whether I should continue riding. We went back and forth about it, but when I concluded I’d be happier nurturing Albie and Monty at home, I called my agent. It felt significant, and I thought, ‘I’m not sure how to express this.’ But I was straightforward, and he responded, ‘Okay, cool.’ That conversation made everything seem resolved.”

Kenny laughs joyfully, as her retirement in March enabled her to focus entirely on her family. Her two sons will accompany her, Jason, and various family members to Paris, and she sounds excited about everything to come. For the following hour, she shares captivating insights into all she hopes to witness and write about in her new Guardian column — her belief that GB can achieve an unprecedented number of medals, the comebacks of Adam Peaty and Tom Daley, the possibilities for Finucane, and the young sprinters mentored by her husband. She plans to take a day off to watch Bryony Page compete for more accolades in trampoline gymnastics, following her silver and bronze medals in Rio and Tokyo.

Kenny provides intriguing behind-the-scenes accounts of her past Olympic journeys and how those experiences can help others grasp what it takes to secure gold, as well as the emotions felt before, during, and after a significant race. However, which of her Olympic victories holds the most significance for her?

“London 2012 is my favorite Olympics, but the most cherished medal is the last gold I won [in the Madison in 2021], as Katie Archibald and I invested immense effort into that race. It’s rare to have a game plan that functions seamlessly, believe me.”

Kenny is adamant that Archibald could have clinched three golds in Paris had she not suffered a double leg break last month from a fall in her garden. Kenny visited Archibald recently and was pleased to find her friend in good spirits. “I told her she’d still be part of my team in Paris, even if it was on one leg,” Kenny beams.

Meanwhile, Archibald is focused on her recovery, as Kenny prepares to report and write on the Olympics in Paris. “I’m genuinely looking forward to it,” she expresses regarding the columns she will write for the Guardian. “It’ll be an opportunity to share my perspectives in my own words and offer insight into the Olympics. I aim to illuminate what the athletes are accomplishing in Paris while conveying it through my lens.”

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