Mars bars, rats and cats: the strangest objects thrown on to a football pitch | Soccer

“The Eliteserien match last month between Rosenborg and Lillestrøm was called off after fans threw tennis balls and fish cakes onto the pitch in protest of VAR. Aside from a pig’s head, what other strange items have been tossed onto a football field?” ponders Håvard Johansen.

We posed this question back in 2006, but that was nearly two decades ago, and people have since hurled all sorts onto the pitch. To start, let’s briefly review the bizarre flying objects we highlighted back then.

1. A pig’s head Barcelona vs Real Madrid, 2000-01 (Luis Figo’s return)

2. Mars bars Newcastle vs Spurs, 1988-89 (Paul Gascoigne’s return; Chris Waddle also received some encouragement to work, rest, and play)

3. A half-eaten hamburger Liverpool vs Man Utd, 2005-06 (aimed at Gary Neville)

4. Tennis balls Bolton vs Hull City, 1998-99 (protest against David Lloyd)

5. A scooter Internazionale vs Atalanta, 2000-01 (it didn’t quite land on the field, but points for the effort)

6. A bottle of rum and a living cat Sevilla vs Betis, 2005-06

7. The front half of a dead cat Charlton vs Luton, 1981-82

8. Pants Reading vs Wrexham, 1999-2000 (because Reading were perceived as poor)

9. A car door New Zealand vs Chile, 1998

10. A wheelbarrow América vs São Caetano, 2004 (during a post-match brawl)

11. A hand grenade Brentford vs Millwall, 1965-66 (for the attention of Chic Brodie)

Aside from the front half of a dead cat, many unusual items have graced the pitch at The Valley.

“We had club shop catalogues littering the field when Steve Brown was sent off by an inexperienced Mike Dean against Leicester City while being carried off on a stretcher,” shares Charlton fan Marlon Seton. “In protest against our unfortunate Belgian owner, we have seen plastic pigs, tennis balls, and I believe there was a third protest, though I can’t recall what was thrown then. And after the final game of our relegation season, the fans’ sofa was ripped apart and strewn across the pitch.”

In Toronto, some supporters threw cushions onto the field, not in protest but in celebration. “When Danny Dichio scored Toronto FC’s inaugural goal in 2007, many fans tossed their sturdy seat cushions onto the pitch!” recounts Michael Thomas. “I have no idea how long it took to clear them off the field, nor if fans received replacement cushions.”

Additional items that have found their way onto football fields since the initial inquiry include a beach ball (Sunderland vs Liverpool, 2009-10), a cabbage (thrown at Steve Bruce prior to Aston Villa’s 3-3 draw with Preston in 2018-19), a dildo (Alaves vs Liverpool, 2000-01), dead rats (Brondby vs FC Copenhagen, 2017), a coconut (Hearts vs Hibs, 2018-19), toilet paper (Mainz 05 vs Freiburg, 2017-18), a lamb shank (Ballymena United vs Distillery, 2007-08), and a severed bull’s head (Dynamo Dresden vs RB Leipzig, 2016-17).

Jack Hayward updates us with a couple of tales from last season.

“In the 12th minute of 1. FC Koln’s 4-0 home loss to Borussia Dortmund on January 20, supporters from both sides threw chocolate coins onto the field, delaying the match by eight minutes,” reports Jack. “This was in protest against a decision by German clubs to sell television rights in exchange for investment capital.

“Fireworks are unfortunately not a rare sight on the pitch, however, the reason Ajax fans threw them at their match against Feyenoord on September 24, 2023 deserves mention. The KNVB implements a rule that if a match is interrupted due to items being thrown onto the field twice, the game is suspended. Ajax supporters, who were weary watching their team fall 3-0 in De Klassieker, repeatedly ignited flares and threw them onto the pitch until officials allowed them to avoid traffic. The match resumed behind closed doors a few days later, with Santiago Giménez achieving one of the longest hat-tricks recorded in history to secure a 4-0 victory for Feyenoord.”

The Invincibles

“With 10 games left in the Chinese Super League, both Shanghai Shenhua and Shanghai Port are unbeaten and dominating the league. If this continues, will it be the first instance of two teams from the same city finishing the season undefeated?” asked a disgruntled Beijing Guoan fan, Cameron McGlone, a few weeks ago.

We need to act before the opportunity fades. On Sunday, Shanghai Shenhua lost 2-1 to Beijing Guoan, with Wang Ziming scoring a 97th-minute winner. This ended a remarkable streak of 43 league games this season where both they and Shanghai Port had remained undefeated.

Port now leads by five points over Shenhua with eight matches remaining, and the two sides are set to clash in a crucial match on August 17. If you’re intrigued by personal stories to accompany the stats, we recommend reading this insightful piece by John Duerden.

Even if both teams had remained unbeaten throughout the season, they wouldn’t have matched this rare occurrence from the Ukrainian Women’s League in 2014.

“Not only were the two teams from the same city, but they also differed by just one character,” writes Mykola Kozlenko. “The clubs were linked to two main construction firms in Kharkiv and named Zhytlobud-1 and 2 (Zhytlobud translates to ‘housing construction’ in Ukrainian). They are more commonly known today as Metalist 1925 Kharkiv and Vorskla Poltava.

“They were dominant throughout most of the 2010s, but the 2014 season was unique: they didn’t drop points against any other teams, the two matches between them were draws, and Zhytlobud-1 clinched the title on goal difference.”

Fact or fiction?

“Years back, I remember seeing (but not purchasing) a book in a shop. It was a novel set in a future where football had been entirely banned due to hooliganism, yet the stadiums remained, and ultra groups gathered in them to clash. The cover depicted a skeleton in a football kit. Does anyone know what this book is?” inquires Chris Matterface.

“I believe the novel Chris is thinking of is Albion! Albion! by ‘Dick Morland’, also known as crime novelist and the author of many books on my mum’s bookshelf, Reginald Hill,” responds Ross Wilson. “The book’s plot also involves a coup against the British government, with the football ban serving as a catalyst for a violent, fascist uprising. This seemed outrageous when published in 1974. Thank goodness time has shown the critics were correct, and fascism is not causing any issues in Britain today.

“I’ve attached the eerie cover that Chris describes.”

The numerous mentions of Albion! Albion! in responses make us confident this is the book Chris had in mind. However, you can never read too many dystopian novels, so here’s another suggestion that surfaced in our correspondence.

“Chris’s description closely resembles the graphic novel Hors Jeu by French/Serbian author Enki Bilal,” adds Mathias Zilstorff. “It also features a machine-like Norwegian striker, referees hiding in fear of retaliation, and matches relocated to increasingly absurd locations due to commercial interests. It’s fairly short and dystopian, but nonetheless intriguing.”

Knowledge archive

“What was the last season (if there ever was one) in which all clubs in the English top division finished with the same manager they had at the season’s start?” pondered Tom Shaw in 2011.

The answer is 1965-66. Perhaps buoyed by pre-World Cup optimism, Blackburn retained ‘Jolly Jack’ Marshall, even as they hurtled towards relegation, finishing last with the lowest points total in 19 years (though he was sacked midway through the next season – “This role at Ewood Park has been likened to a ‘hot seat’,” reported the Guardian at the time). Dave Bowen, who also juggled the Wales managerial role, remained at Northampton, alongside Blackburn’s fellow relegation survivors.

Fulham, despite facing relegation during the season, kept Vic Buckingham, while Ian McColl, appointed in the summer of 1965, continued at Sunderland, who finished 19th. Nottingham Forest avoided relegation by a slim margin and held on to the calm approach of Johnny Carey (“Some of their tackling, while not brutal, lacked the finesse and complete inoffensiveness expected from a team led by Mr. Carey,” remarked the Guardian following a mid-season 1-1 draw at Manchester City. “Forest, like many clubs, have adjusted their style to align with modern needs, although Mr. Carey would never instruct his players to ‘mix it’.”) Above Blackburn, nine teams closed the season just four points apart – perhaps a rare and final instance of clubs sticking with the known quantities.

Nevertheless, the peace didn’t last long. Arsenal debuted the 1966-67 season with a new manager, as Billy Wright resigned in June.

Can you help?

“Has any player scored more hat tricks at a major tournament that didn’t lead to a winning performance than Barbra Banda at the Olympics?” inquires Jack Tanner.

“Last season’s Eredivisie saw De Klassieker end with an aggregate score of Feyenoord 10-0 Ajax. Have any other derbies concluded with such a lopsided score throughout a season?” speculates Jack Hayward.

“What is the shortest time a player has taken to win their first trophy?” inquiries David Taylor. “And what’s the longest?”